Safety Planning

If being abused or stalked, be aware of your surroundings. Always be on Alert!!!

If you suspect you are being followed, make extra turns and backtrack if you need to in order to get to the Police Station or other safe place. Sound your horn if needed to attract attention.
Be sure friends, family, and co-workers are aware of your situation. Provide them with a description of the abuser's vehicle and a picture of the abuser if possible.
Take different routes home from work.
Change your routine as much as possible.
Always lock your car doors, not only when parked, but while driving.
Have your keys in hand while walking to your car/have someone escort you to your car if possible.
Park in well lit areas.
Keep your doors locked at all times at home.
Make a positive identification of all visitors before opening the door.
Ask repair and sales persons for identification.
Be cautious of any unusual packages.
Call police to investigate when needed.
Have deadbolt locks installed. Place stick in sliding glass door.
Place lights and radio on a timer when you are away from home.
Do not include your home address on personal checks and business cards.
When you move, notify only friends and necessary businesses of your new address.
Shred or burn discarded mail, which includes pertinent information.
Check tires for nails, loosened lug nuts, etc before driving.
Use a locking gas cap.
Use an answering machine to screen and record calls.
Carry a camera with you.
Be sure smoke alarms, fire alarms, and fire extinguishers are in working order.
Accompany children to school or bus stop.
Keep working flashlight handy at all times.
Carry a cell phone with you at all times. (Even a non-working cell phone will call 911).

For the men/women who are not in immediate danger but have experienced danger in the recent past, or could experience abuse in the future, safety remains an issue. Knowing the answers to the following questions will help you in developing a person's safety plan.

Are there two exits in your home?
Are there neighbors nearby whom you can run to for help?
Can you develop a signal to let friends or neighbors now you are in danger?
Have you packed a small overnight bag with clothes for you and your children and placed it somewhere safe and accessible?
Do you have an extra set of keys in a safe place?
Do you know a crisis line number?
Can you identify a room in the house that could serve as a safe room if you can't get away? It should have a strong door with a secure lock.

Safety planning with a Protection Order

Keep your protection order with you at all times.
Call the police if your partner violates the protective order.
Think of alternate ways to keep safe if the police cannot respond right away.
Inform family, friends, neighbors, employers, schools, and your healthcare provider that you have a protection order in effect.

Safety planning with children...

Do the children have an adult they feel comfortable talking to about abuse or violence they experience or witness at home?
Can the children escape the house if an assault is taking place?
Where can they go in an emergency?
Plan with the children what they will do step-by-step.
Do they know how to call police?
Do they know the numbers of family members, friends, or community agencies?
Tell the children they are not responsible for the domestic violence or for what happens after the violence is disclosed.
Tell the children it is important for them to be safe when their mother is assaulted. They should not intervene during an assault.
If the child is called upon to testify against a parent, or is showing signs of trauma, develop a plan to support the child over issues of fear, anxiety, divided loyalties, or the reawakening of painful memories.
If they blame themselves for the violence, or for inadequately protecting their mother, reassure the children that these are common reactions.

What to take if you decide to leave an abusive relationship...

Social Security Card
Driver's license
Birth Certificate
Passport/green card/work permits
House keys
Car keys
Work keys
Emergency cash
Credit Card
ATM Card
Bank book
Current unpaid bills
Utility information and account numbers
Marriage/separation/divorce papers (including any custody and visitation orders)
Insurance papers
Protective order/past records
House deed or lease
School records
Medical records
Clothes for self and children
Medications
Address book
Pictures
Items of sentimental value
Children's favorite toys, books, etc.
Phone card
Jewelry